Messenger In The Mirror

Messenger in the Mirror book contents

Chapter 1: Being who we are
This chapter sets the scene for what is to follow, and briefly talks about the importance of choice and how we are shaped through our relationships with others.

"We want to be acknowledged, to be seen and appreciated for who we are; but if we do not see ourselves, how can others?"

Chapter 2: Where we begin

This chapter takes us through our early childhood, and discusses things such as growing periods, parenting styles, birth order, and our childhood environment in general - all factors that help shape us and our instinctive responses as we make our way through life.

"But, what if the rational choices that we make to direct our lives are subtly influenced by the patterns that have been silently laid down over time? We may think that we are making our own choices, but all we are doing is behaving in response to environmental cues and learned programming."

Chapter 3: The physical body
This chapter talks about the mind-body connection and how our bodies are affected by our mental and emotional state. By paying attention to our body's messages, we are able to understand some of the deeper issues in our lives.

"Disease is what we experience in our body when we are out of alignment with ourselves."

Chapter 4: Being emotionally healthy
This chapter deals with our psychological and emotional well-being. Various issues such as eating problems, addiction, living with an addict, dealing with feelings, self-sabotage, asking for help, and issues around honesty, are covered.

"You are not in this relationship to be a saviour or a counselor, nor should you stay in a relationship that damages you."

Chapter 5: Rituals and cycles
We have abandoned our healthy rituals of the past for unhealthy rituals in the present. We have lost our sense of community and no longer have our 'elders' to turn to for wisdom or advice.

"The most common Western ritual is the worship of materialism. Instead of acknowledging ancient symbols of wisdom, we collect modern symbols of status."

Chapter 6: Love styles and marketing strategies
Find out about the different love styles and relationship marketing strategies. How do you go about finding a mate?

"One partner does the marketing and the other falls for the product. They find a ‘fit’ with one another. People do and say the things that they know others will want to see and hear."

Chapter 7: Getting together
This chapter covers the nature of attraction and the different kinds of 'glue' that bring people together. How do we move away from fantasy and choose a true relationship?

"When you are truly in alignment with yourself and you feel worthy of giving and receiving love – then you will find the person with whom you could share your life."

Chapter 8: Games and other forms of manipulation
Understand the nature of the different games people play when they meet, as well as negative behaviours. Find out more about projection, communication habits, arguments, blaming, sulking, manipulation and control.

"It would be unnatural to share your life, your space, and your heart with another and not have disagreements. The key is whether the relationship is strengthened or weakened by this, and whether your differing opinions can be reconciled."

Chapter 9: Winners, losers and free spirits
This chapter covers competition, betrayal, jealousy, sixth sense, and sharing resources.

"By its very nature, competition is hostile – to win the competition you need to treat your partner as an opponent, someone to whom you are opposed."

Chapter 10: When relationships end
"What happened to us?" you may be asking. We all have different responses to the end of a relationship. What are good reasons to end a relationship? This chapter will encourage you to review relationship patterns and themes, your relationship with your past, your relationship with yourself, letting go of baggage, choice and free will.

"Every time you let go of a circumstance that does not support your highest good, you will make space for new and inspirational experiences. Before moving on, review your history and your relationship behaviour. If you are still sending out the same message, you will still attract the same type of person."

Chapter 11: Doing things differently
So you want to move forward, either in your existing relationship or in a new one. This chapter talks about students and teachers, trusting the lessons, commitment and committing for the right reasons, the types of love, interconnectedness, and being relationship ready.

"Ideally, you should know which environments best supports who you essentially are and try to surround yourself with that which supports your truth and your soul journey. Consider making your life easier by knowing what type of environment expands you and raises your levels of joy."

Published by: Quickfox Publishing
ISBN: 978-0-620-43723-3
No of pages: 192
Author: Dyan Belonje

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R139

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KEYWORDS: Messenger in the Mirror, Dyan Belonje, patterns and pay-offs in key relationships, relationship behaviour, parenting styles, love styles, love games, manipulation, honesty, being authentic, letting go of baggage, changing behaviour, emotional health, self-sabotage, victim behaviour, abusive relationships, interconnectedness, birth order, childhood environment, attraction, projection, communication, arguments, control, self-love, self-esteem, relationship with self

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